Millennials, listen up! (All of you born after 1985.) You have to know how it was, how painful and rough and prehistoric it was, for kids in the 80’s.

No texting! No streaming movies! And the threat of nuclear annihilation was ever-present. So don’t take all your cushy e-devices for granted, kiddos. Listen to Mr. Bacon. And if you dare ask who he is besides the guy on The Following, then I’m going to have to kick your big-thumbed ass.

-Callahan, Jack Seattle

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