Happy Birthday, Fred Durst! (There! Your Name Is Still In A Headline!)

Here at JACK headquarters we get up-to-the-minute wire copy — and today, an “Alternative Rock” report gave us something really nice to chew on. And by “nice,” we mean “repulsive.”

Did you know on this day in 2006 Fall Out Boy was a winner at the Teen Choice Awards? No you didn’t, and you’re a better person for not knowing that.

But that’s not the worst tidbit we got. Did you know on this day in 1970 Fred Durst was born? Yes, that is right, August 20th is the Limp Bizkit frontman’s birthday. Let’s all take a moment to honor Mr. Durst by trying really hard to remember a title of a Limp Bizkit song — it’s tough.

Oh, that’s right, “Nookie.” That sure was a fun little number, wasn’t it?

“I did it all for the nookie
The nookie 
So you can take that cookie
And stick it up your, yeah!!
Stick it up your, yeah!!
Stick it up your, yeah!!”

The thing we need to remember about Durst on his birthday is that, like Paris Hilton, he became famous because __________. (There is no answer, much like the question, “what is the meaning of life?”)

Durst and co. seemed to show up in 2000 with embarrassingly bad songs — which of course MTV loved — and it felt like the band never really went away for quite some time. In 2002 Durst created rumors that he was having intercourse with Britney Spears to keep his name afloat. He continued his endless pursuit of trying to be relevant for years with interviews that always seemed to end with him insulting the interviewer for the line of questioning (you know questions like, “why am I talking to you?”).

His biggest accomplishment was getting enough people to believe someone other than himself leaked his sex tape 2005.

So let’s all congratulate Mr. Durst for doing what he set out to do a long time ago: have people still talk about him (for some reason).

Touche, Mr. Durst. Touche.

-President of the Fred Durst Fan Club


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