Jack’s Doofuses Of The Day: Drunken Thieves, Bingo Yellers, and Tadpole Mouth Smugglers

Man Banned From Saying “Bingo” For Six Months



A Covington, Kentucky man is legally forbidden from saying the word “bingo” for the next six months. NKY.com reports that a judge has barred 18-year old Austin Whaley from saying the word after he falsely yelled it in a room full of people playing the game. Last month police officer Richard Webster was working as security at the bingo hall when he cited Whaley for second degree disorderly conduct. After Whaley yelled the winning word, Webster says the hall “quit operating since they thought someone had won.” He adds that the delay lasted for several minutes and “caused alarm to patrons.” Apparently, Webster gave Whaley a chance to apologize, which would have saved him from being cited. However, when Whaley refused Webster slapped him with a citation. While the judge could have thrown the book at Whaley, he simply prohibited him from saying “bingo.”

Mom Asks Seven-Year-Old Daughter To Pepper Spray SomeoneĀ 



A Pennsylvania woman is unlikely to win any mothering awards this week after allegedly asking her seven-year-old daughter to use pepper spray against discount store employees who were trying to kick her out. According to the “Philadelphia Daily News,” Delaina Garling and her two kids tried to enter a Family Dollar in Upper Darby on Monday even though she had been banned from the store for theft. Police say the manager recognized Garling and started to escort her out. But it turns out she really didn’t want to leave, so she whipped out the pepper spray and gave the manager and another employee a face-full. The manager eventually wrestled Garling to the ground, which is when she allegedly handed the pepper spray to her daughter and said, quote, “You know what to do baby. Spray it!” But the young girl chose to disobey mom this time around, and she and her brother were later placed in the custody of their father. Garling, meanwhile, was arrested and charged with simple assault, as well as other related offenses.

Woman Busted Hiding Tadpoles in Mouth



One woman has a bad taste in her mouth after she tried to smuggle tadpoles on a flight out of Guangzhou, China. The Chinese news network Guangdong Southern Media Network reports that workers at an airport security checkpoint found a woman who was carrying a bottle of liquid in her carry on luggage. When they told her she would have to get rid of the liquid before boarding, the woman poured the bottle’s contents into her mouth. Officials noticed that she refused to swallow and told her to spit out the liquid. It turns out the woman had the bottle filled with tadpoles that were reportedly given to her by a friend. Officials made her throw out the bottle and the tadpoles before she was allowed to pass through security.

Teacher Charged With Stealing From Students



A Northern California teacher facing charges over accusations she stole things from students. Some students at Linden High School in San Joaquin Valley thought someone was taking stuff from their backpacks while they were in P.E. class so they set up a hidden camera. School officials say that led them to Joann Maxwell, who has been a teacher for close to three decades. She was put on administrative leave last month when the accusations first came up and she is also charged with theft. The video went viral and got a lot of online attention. Maxwell is due back in court next week.

Church Burglar Busted By Munchies



St. Charles, Missouri officials have a man in custody who they say was caught drunk with ice cream all over him after he broke into a church. Andrew Jung allegedly broke into the St. Peters Catholic Church earlier this month and stole ice cream from a deep freezer. However, he was caught just a few blocks away from the church and was covered with the ice cream. They say he had been drinking a lot and also left a hat at the church so tracing him to the crime was pretty easy. The 24-year-old has been in similar trouble before as he is already on probation for breaking into a different church.


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